supermom

Sometimes I feel like a D+ mom. Certainly not failing, afterall my kids do get fed and dressed on a regular basis, but every-once-in-a-while I just want to sit on the floor and cry because I just can't get it together. Do you ever have moments where you question yourself, though? I hope not---because being to hard on yourself is never fun. The problem is most of these hideous moments occur as a direct result of negligence on my part. I put off laundry...so why them am I frustrated and confused when there's nothing to wear? Generally I can take all the craziness of having two small children in stride, but every now and then, boom. I just feel it down deep. I was having a moment yesterday when I overheard this conversation. Natalie had a little friend over, he's four.

"I'm Superman!!!" (Followed by a thud which could only be explained by a jump from something high.)
"Weeeelll, I'm SuperMOM."
"I'm Superman!" (With even more emphasis then before.)
"Supermen have to have Supermoms. So I'm Supermom."
"Okay!"

Tears started to flow with that little squeeze of my heart. Have you ever wanted to just hug your child tremendously out of gratitude? I can't express how deeply this made me feel and it sure erased a lot of the deficiencies, real or imagined, I was letting get to me.

A couple of months ago we house sat/baby sat for a family while the parents went out of town. We had a campfire one night and as we were wrapping it all up I asked the kids to make sure they got all their smoky smelling clothes to me right away so I could wash them so the smoke smell would set in. One of them said the classic line, "Why? Our parents don't make us do that." So smiling I said, "You're mom must be amazing, then." Without hesitation and in complete seriousness this boy replied, "There's nothing our mom can't do. Don't you think, (his sister's name), there's nothing she can't do. She can seriously do anything. " His sister nodded. These were teenagers! Not prompted or coaxed or kissing-up. Simply sincere. Isn't that one of every mom's highest aspirations for her children to have that much confidence, respect for her? Anyway, that's just really stuck with me.

a different kind of media frenzy

The past couple of weeks have been media frenzy at our house:

1. We now receive the newspaper. I love pouring over pages that leave my hands gray and filmy.

2. We now carry little movie rental cards (the first in our married lives) in our wallets and have rented all sorts of movies we've not had a chance to see. Mostly our "rentals" have been provided compliments of our local library and have consisted of 5-Mile Creek, The Maltesse Falcon, and Horatio Hornblower. All quality shows I could watch repeatedly. Well, maybe not the Maltesse Falcon. Anyway, back to new movies. Thoughts:
*I remember growing up going to rent a movie with my family or friends and every now and then averting my eyes or blushing because of a movie cover. Now, even as a grown adult, I practically have to run through the "new releases" section because of the awful covers.
*Personal Ratings:
Stranger Than Fiction---two thumbs up
(note: after the first little bit I turned to Jared and said, "Sorry, I thought this was a comedy." Because although I thought it was quite humorous, Jared has a tendency to only find movies funny if Chevy Chase or Matthew Broderick make an appearance, so I was feeling tentative to his enjoyment. He'd probably rate it a shaky half-thumbs up.
Eragon---one thumb
Night At the Museum--- 1 1/2 thumbs.
(note: funny, CLEAN, easy-going watch)
Pursuit of Happyness---2 thumbs
Nacho Libre---TBA (it's for tonight)

Thanks to our friends Ben and Laura, we also can join the rest of America in The Office fanaticism. We've been staying up as late as we can watching all the past episodes.
And, again, thanks to them we've been catching up on Man v. Wild. It really doesn't matter to me if it's not %100 real...if you can eat raw zebra (or whatever that was) and scale cliffs, you're amazing and I'll watch you for an hour.

Let's see, whatelse?

Oh, on to books. My favorite.

3. I've been in such a read-everything-I-can-get-my-hands on mood. Quick rundown:


Eclipse---if you haven't read it yet, don't. Wait until book 4 comes out because, this is pathetic, but I seriously have this longing emotion not un-like the feeling you get after getting broken up with. (Not that I would know or anything) I want to yell at the book: "Hey! What do you mean it's over? I'm not done yet." I wish Stephenie Meyer's writing wasn't such that you feel it's YOU. You are there, it's your story. Then maybe I would just think it's a good book, a fun read.
I recommend this book to anyone who wants to escape for a few hours and doesn't mind teenagers.

The Scarlet Pimpernel---Looooved it! Everything a classic historical fiction romance adventure book should be. The movie version with Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman (what's her name?) is one of few movies I've watched repeatedly and was pleasantly surprised the book and movie are quite different. I found this book remarkably simplistic, yet it captured my attention completely. I even gasped.
I recommend this book to my two good, good friends Denise and Lisa (who actually gave me the book at our book club's white elephant party last year). Thanks!

The Omnivore Dilemma by Michael Pollan. This is one intense book for being about what we eat. Absolute fascinating and absolute food for thought. Written by a journalist, well researched/documented origin and break down of our modern food chain: corn and corn by-products, organic, and so forth. Highly recommend although it's certainly not a read in one sitting book. Warning: this book will get you so excited about green grass you'll wonder how you ever found anything else in life worth your time. You know a book is funny when the author successfully uses "svelte" to describe a coke bottle.
I recommend it to my brother Dan, my brother-in law Trevor, and my dear friend, Amy.

The King of Attolia, by Megan Whalen Turner. More fiction---YA? Probably. I've read and re-read this book. Start at the beginning and read The Thief, follow it with The Queen of Attolia. I started at the end, this book, and went back through the beginning. I recommend this book to my sister-in law Nicol and niece Rylee, my sister Esther, and of course, Krystal.

Frog and Toad Together, by Arnold Lobel, specifically the short titled "Cookies" and I recommend this book to anyone trying to tame a sweet tooth. It will make you smile.

Okay. Now go read then call or email me and we'll chat. I'm lonesome for book-chatters. So much so I want to tell you a funny story.

Before I picked up Eclipse a few weeks ago, I make a deal with myself that I would be "responsible, reliable, and a really good mom" while reading. In otherwords, I would not let it absorb my time and energy, keep me up at night, or pay more attention to it than my family. I only read until 10:30pm, sadly put it down, got up in the morning, thought about it all through my run, came home, did our normal routine (I will admit to reading while cooking breakfast), took my kids to the park all the while willing myself to the three R's. So, bla bla bla, right? I get to the park and what do I see? Someone reading it while sitting on the swings. "What?" I think. This can't be. I so was wishing to talk to someone because I had left off on an exciting part but didn't dare call any friends because I didn't want to ruin it if they weren't as far yet. I did a double take because who was reading it but a teenage boy! Hardly the stellar adult behavior to approach a teenage boy to talk about a book. Yikes! So I just smile and find some assurance I'm not crazy in liking this book so much. Anyway, time passes and I see him go to a picnic table full of adults and kids and he keeps reading. So thinking it's okay, I smile, put on my best "teacher" pose and walk up to the table and say something like "I know this is weird, but I just have to say how excited I am to see someone reading this book because I'm reading it too. Don't you just love it?" The table bursts into action with everyone yelling, "Stop! Don't say anything. We are all waiting in line to read it!" I couldn't believe it! This kid's mom, aunt, dad, cousins...isn't that fun?

It reminded me of my own family that even went a step farther. I remember hearing about my uncle having to hide in the closet and read Watership Down (I think?) all night so he could actually finish the book because everyone else wanted to read it too. I guess if you put it down it's fair game. Gives more meaning to the phrase "I couldn't put it down!"

Natalie is a sweet, obedient, loving girl. I then I download a photo like this, and my fears that she is just on the edge of my control are confirmed. "Go ahead, mom. Try to get to get to do what you want." or "I'll listen to, but you and I both know who's really in charge."



I love the way the water is captured here.

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A very nice coworker of Jared's gave us free reign over his boat on Saturday. We "took it for a spin" and just had a great afternoon.



Poor, poor Isaac. His little life preserver cinched right up to his chin. He couldn't really move, a good thing for a curious baby on a boat, but if he wasn't positioned just right when set down, he'd tip over as if in slow motion with this look on his face like, "Hey, guys? Guys?"






This photo cracks me up. Obviously something funny is going on, but doesn't it also look like he's about to eat her?





Natalie is one brave kid. Large, expansive bodies of water seriously scare me and it takes everything I've got to not throw up, but not Natalie. She just jumps right in swimming as far as she possibly can before Jared chases her down. Meanwhile, I'm desperately trying to maintain my stomach and more importantly a normal, easy going demeanor because I'm so scared for her. Some crazy seaweed will reach out and snag her or a wildly huge fish bites off a foot. See, I've got issues. It's going to be a miracle if my kids reach adulthood without my worry-wort tendencies coloring all their childhood experiences. Maybe it's not bravery as much as 3-year old naivete shinning through putting all trust in a life jacket and her dad. What more could a girl want? I could take a few lessons.

Random Kansas Billboard Inspiration

Humility: the acknowledgment that the achievements in my life results from the investment of others.

first weekend in August

We spent a terrific weekend together. Camped overnight for the first time with Isaac. Hiked in the morning and had a "the-hills-are-aliiiive" (insert music here) moment in a field at the top. Even thinking about it now I still feel a rush. Fished in the afternoon---not exactly prime time for fishing, but we had a great time playing in the river!!!! Just a nice, kick back Saturday. Surprisingly neither of us woke up Sunday sore after hauling our kids up.










Natalie's into dinosaurs. Here she is in her own words: pterodactyl queen.

"make new friends, but keeeeep the oooold"

A note from my friend, Reba:

I love the journal entry you shared on your last blog entry--you articulated so beautifully that new move in feeling. I hope you haven't been blogging because you're so busy with your new friends. :)

Whahaha Whoo hoo hoo, hawaha snort hawhaw, ho, ho... yes, actually! I am busy making new friends. And here's one of them:


If you also want to make new friends, click HERE for your own step-by-step instructions.

Okay, really. Thanks for the nudge.

Here's what has been keeping me busy.

Sweet Ike's birthday. Another resident's little boy has the same birthday. We had a twin-er birthday party.


In honor of him being one, a list of things I love about him, one for each year of his life:

#1: He's shy, bashful.

Sigh. So sweet when he tucks his head when he catches someone looking at him or talking to him.

In honor of his being in his second year, two things I love about him:

#1: He's rocks out to any music/beat. What a cute dancer---in the customary baby bounce.
#2: He seeks out cracking us up. Whatever he can do to make us laugh, he does it.


For good measure and because eventually he'll be three...

#3: he's so easy to do this to:





Jared and I refinished this old dresser I bought at a thrift store with my priceless friend Sheri. I'm sure when she saw me buy she was thinking, "That's a load of junk," but was nice enough to agree it had potential and recommend I keep it wood rather than paint it. Everyone needs a good friend like Sheri. And, I have to admit that I was embarrassed when we moved and *gasp* people (aka "friends") saw it also probably wondering, "And you are moving this thing how many miles?" I wish I had taken a photo of it "before" because I think the "after" looks pretty good and am quite happy with how it turned out.



Besides making friends, I've been sewing a lot. Made a cute little skirt for Natalie to wear to our ward primary pioneer day activity thing...what are those called? Primary Activity? Anyway, turned out cute but since I don't know how to download the photos on my camera, don't have a photo. You've seen my kids' HP costumes...lots of inquires about the mandrake hat...I sewed that using brown flannel for the base/hat and green glitter felt for the leaves. I don't have a pattern, but you could use any hat pattern and sew on extra branches and cut out some leaves. Right now I'm working on some curtains for my dining room. Hope to get those done next week.


Let's see...for a mental workout, Middlemarch by George Eliot (coupled with my trusty thesaurus) has been on my nightstand, and on the couch, and on the kitchen table, and in the hammock in the backyard, and in my bag, and...also thanks to Reba for mentioning this book. Should I just dedicate this post to her?


Love, love it here. Jared's fellow residents are simply wonderful. We had them over for dinner a few weeks ago. Potluck of sorts and one of them brought these:


Some sort of Vietnamese wraps with peanut sauce. At first I choked because I wasn't prepared for the kick of the sauce or the full on sprig of mint. But who knew shrimp, mint, and peanut sauce would be so good. I want more!!!! Each of he fellow residents are vibrant, unique, sincere, easy-going. I think he's got a good group to work with and I'm looking forward to being part-family for the next few years.

If you ever open a box and see styrofoam packaging, STOP opening the box. As fast as you can remove all children from the area and do not under any circumstances continue. It will explode. Your kids will have the time of their lives, but you on the other hand, well, won't.




Baking some...here are some blackbottom cupcakes with a cheese cake center. I'd rate them a solid B+.

Jared has had some spare time, amazingly enough, and we've had fun just hanging out. Tonight he's been perusing Craig's List trying to convince me to buy all sort of junk. Literally, junk. He likes to watch me roll my eyes---he thinks it's hot. But mostly we just go and do whatever together: parks, visit new friends (actually people!), bike ride, meander new shops, pick fruit.

Natalie took this photo of me. After she saw the photo turn up on the screen to said, "Oh mom. You look delightful."

She's learned to "wait for the click" and usually these are the pictures she takes.

I've been such a baby lately. We watched the new Charlotte's Web today and I bawled at each scene when a new word or phrase appeared. The first one was the worst: Some Pig.

If we weren't renting our house, I'd paint a spider web with the words "Some Kid" over Natalie's and Isaac's beds. So moving. So inspiring on how to treat each other.

Twice I teared up and got craaaazy emotional over Harry Potter (stop reading if you don't want to know any spoiler information!!!!) Dobby's death pushed me waaay over the top after a brief, stunned silence and when Lily and James appear to Harry as he enters the forest, I lost it. Poor Jared was the mystified witness to it all but was stalwart and let me just feel.

Who knows what will hit me next. Please let there NOT be any boxes of free puppies at the grocery store.

One last random note. It's surprisingly religious here. I've been approached several times about religion or simply been invited to church by pretty much strangers, even the guy who came to set up our internet. At first I thought I must look needy, but people also ask me for directions (to which I am completely clueless), so maybe it's because I look nice?

Gotta get to be sometime...

Chao!