Tuesday, June 26, 2007

A Recap Anyone?

Hello the world!

So much to write about: graduation, packing up, driving hundreds and hundreds of miles, our new life. Where to start?

Jared graduated, we left our wonderful life and friends. Here are a few photos I love (and may post some more on a later post).








I didn’t cry about actually leaving until I started seeing friends for the last time and driving down streets knowing I wouldn’t drive again. Certain places like a friend’s kitchen table, the grocery store, and my back porch looking out over the lake made me stop and soak in the moment; treasuring up good emotion storing away for times when I crave a sense of place, history, good times. I think that’s the hardest thing about moving: being without a sense of history, place. It balances out with the ahhh!, wonderful!, how great!, moments of discovering a new town, so it’s not until a parallel experience occurs that the lack of “place” hits you.

For example here’s an excerpt from my journal last week---hope you can read through the roughness because I’m leaving it unedited.

Went to playgroup at the park for our ward. This is how it went…swing with the kids…peer around at the mass of other moms sorting out the tank tops…recognized one mom and wave as friendly as possible while still masking my semi-desperation…small talk for a few moments…move to the playgroud…recognize another mom…strike up conversation brilliantly with “You look familiar”…make GREAT impression, I’m sure…she replies, “Yeah, we stole your car on Sunday.” Funny, how did I miss that?” “Your son’s little toy car during sacrament meeting.” “Oooohhh, okay.. The toy car.” More clever conversation follows…we move along, eventually meeting more moms along the way back to the swings myself back and once there trying to decide if it’s worth jumping into the converstation about potty training just for comraderie sake…I’ll leave it to you to wonder which road I chose. Here’s the thing, as if I haven’t chatted for hours about potty training with friends, right? But it was always before or after swapping thoughts and emotions beyond “What’s for dinner?” issues. With all the crazy emotional events over the past weeks from graduation to moving, this was suprisingly the most draining for me. The rest of the day I just felt moody. I think I’ve pinpointed the core of my need and it’s not missing having people around so much as I’m missing having a history with friends. Background information, established roots, people who know you and where you’ve been. I struggle having to fit myself in the blank space following, “What are your hobbies, interests, and talents” on the inevitable “Get to Know You” forms. This is usually my blurb: sewing/crafts, cooking, (gee I sure stand out) reading, anything outdoors (I might as well as sleeping to spice things up a bit). This is what I want to write: thinking, late night converstaions, making old things new, getting kids to laugh, bargain hunting, perusing grocery store ads, eating, considering world problems, math, and getting un-lost. Why I opt for the ho-hum? Back to the park, there was another mom there who thankfully could just talk and talk because length of chatter at this point is blessed. It’s going to have to be one of those things I just go to for a few weeks until hopefully the newness wears off. Enrichment looks promising. We’re making peanut butter chocolate pies. Crossing my fingers there’s plenty of taste testing.


So, what I’ve learned after reading this is life take time to smooth out. Enrichment did involve plenty of taste testing and good conversation. I left not only with a hefty, amazing pie, but also feeling good and happy because there were plenty of happy, friendly women not just like me demographically, but mentally and spiritually. What a reeeelief! Relief Society…get it?!  I just am.

The kids are adjusting well as far as I can tell. After her first Primary she talked non-stop about a specific boy in her class. She kept asking if we knew where he lived and when she’d see something she liked or was funny, she’s say something about how she couldn’t wait to tell him about it. She kept this up for days and at one point I asked her what he was like and why she liked him so. She said, “Well, he’s a boy. He wears a green shirt. He doesn’t have eight legs; he’s not a spider.” She mentions various friends she misses but indirectly. For example, yesterday she wanted a drink and said to save with green cup for Savannah. She mentions “Ohio State” frequently. She drew a picture of herself surrounded by gibberish words and then read it to me. It said, “Ohio State. I miss you and I love you and I will see you soon.” I made her this treasure box filled with photos of her friends and places in Ohio. It was a conglomeration of ideas from various sources. She loves it. Carries it around and talks about her friends. I’m glad to have actually finished it!

So moving was somewhat relieving to finally get on the road and head to adventures anticipated for so long. The crazy thing is I kept thinking over and over, “I’m so glad I’m driving and not flying. This is waaay better than flying. I can stretch when I want to, eat when I want to, listen to load music, books on tape, sing at the top of my lungs all the wrong words. I don’t have to sit and wait to get on the plane only to wait to take off all the while hoping Isaac will wait to eat during take off and Natalie won’t have to use the restroom while the “seatbelt sign is illuminated” and and and….” Can you tell I’ve flown every 2 months (avg.) over the past year? We had a great drive. Much better than anticipated. I had Isaac and Chewy while Natalie hitched with Jared in the big truck. Great times for all. Isaac was entertained by Chewy and slept seriously nonstop. Otherwise he was pacified with a steady stream of crackers and fruit snacks. (Thanks to Todd and Carol and Terrell H. for sending us off with a load of treats…you must have traveled with kids before.  .)

I kind of enjoyed traveling by myself (I thought I would die) and we had walkie talkies so we could talk with each other. Once when hit Denver Jared headed south to visit a friend for an afternoon and I was anxious to get into SL so I drove ahead. I stopped in the most peaceful little rest stop somewhere in Wyoming. It was breezy, warm, and full of good memories of the West because the rocks and trees just reminding me of the prairie/desert. Isaac crawled around in the grass while I dozed. I have a couple of good memories just Isaac and I. It reminded me of when I went with Jared to New York for his interview. Natalie stayed with some friends so I just had Isaac. He was five or six months old and I drove up to a park by the lake while Jared was busy. It was sprinkling and in a fashion only a parent would understand held an umbrella in one hand and cradled my baby in the other and walked along the shore enjoying quiet, uninterupted thoughts while bonding with my son. I love that memory. There was an old man, equipped with a metal detector, also enjoying the solitude. At one point we mutually stopped, equally entrigued by the other and chatted. The neatest thing he ever found (and he’s been searching this same area for years) was a coin dated 1865…it was 10 or so inches underground near the historical carousel. Fun memory. Anyway, tangent number…?

Listened to The Unexpected Mrs. Pollifax which I really enjoyed. A fun book about an older women who starts work as a spy.

Also listened to Harry Potter 6 in preparation for book 7. Glad I did so now I’m fresh with all the details and hypothesizing like crazy what’s going to happen. Here’s what Jared and I think about the whole Snape killing Dumbledore thing. (If you don’t want to know, skip to the next paragraph.) Snape, being an occulmust (sp?) could tell from Dumbledore he was going to die anyway (as a result of drinking all the potion, right?) But he also found out from Dumbledore he had a horecrux in his pocket so when he performed the abracadabra (sp?) curse it was on the locket, not directly Dumbledore. Indirectly he killed Dumbledore, both knowing he had to do to keep up his appearance of working for Voldemort. There. Does that make sense?

Well, on to other things…

Stepping outside in the morning here is like stepping out of a tent while camping. The freshness is overwhelming. It’s a perpetual mountain smell of pine and earth and crispness. Love it. During the day whiffs of flowers hit you everywhere you go. Also love that. We walk everywhere we can: the store, the parks, the bank, the library. It’s wonderful to get out with kids and not get caught up driving everywhere. A note about the library. So, Columbus Metropolitan Library was ranked number one in the country last year. Nice! It deserved it because it was a fantastic library system. Unfortunately you can only go down from number one and I’m trying to find good things about a library only open a handful of days a week and even then for only six or so hours day. So, it hasn’t been easy to get to a computer to post or check email when our internet isn’t up and running yet. It will be by the end of the week, and we’ve a list of things to do so we’ll probably be up all night. Feel free to call.

On to phones…we got our phones on Saturday and I have a cute pink razr. Very hip. Very atypical of me, but I love it. We opted for a texting package so I can send photos of what we are doing throughout the day to him. Nice feature we are sure to exhaust.

Hmmm…I know there’s more. But that’s all for now.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

save a tree...and your sanity

It's estimated retailers mail 17 billion catalogs a year! That's not magazines, junk mail, or fliers. Imagine adding all the cardboard boxes, paper products, and the list could go on and on. A few months ago I got on the "do not call list" for junk mail first because I was so bugged by the mass of meaningless mail I was getting and what a waste of my time to sort through all the junk. Second, I felt concerned over the amount of paper going to waste. Getting on the list takes more time and is a longer process than getting on the "do not call list" for your phone number, but it does work.

Here's the link if you are interested:

www.newdream.org/junkmail/optout.php


And by snail mail write to:

Mail Preference Service
Direct Marketing Association
11 West 42nd Street P.O. box 3861
New York, NY 10163

You must include your name, address and zip code.

Saturday, June 02, 2007

Thoughts For The Day

Nothing feels so good as...

...taping up a box after packing it up.



Nothing feels so bad as...

...turning around and seeing more junk to be packed.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

separation anxiety

The thought came to me today that babies get separation anxiety once they develop to the point of recognizing there is only one you with no suitable substitute. Only one mom, or dad. Only one center of their universe. And to not be there is traumatic for sure.

So this idea makes me wonder: do adults get separation anxiety? What would this look like? Have you even found yourself digressed to infancy where you don't realize there's only one you and to be away from that true you is a terrible, very sad, very scary thing?

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

What to write

I just read today that Hemmingway tried to write 250 words a day which doesn't seem like much until after 365 days when you have discovered you've written a novel.
I would like to write every day. By the end of this sentence I will have written roughly 50 words, so really 250 isn't a huge goal. All too often I want to write, but nothing comes to mind until my fingers start moving. Seriously, I start with "what to write..." and before I know it there's this!
Here are places I write which would certainly count toward writing everyday:
My journal (handwritten)
My kids' journals
My computer journal
Notebooks, napkins, over kid artwork (hard to admit, but if it's the only piece of paper for miles I've picked a corner to cram in some notes), receipts, newspapers, HERE, THERE, EVERYWHERE.
This blog

The point is, record it. Put aside spelling and grammar, form and flow for a moment or two and write. Thoughts have a tendency to evolve and I simply dislike losing that instant when exactly what I wanted to say and how to catch it in words because I couldn't find a medium!


Some other notes:

Funny how I'm living in a sort of removed whirlwind life. How do you cram in doing all the things you love "one last time" without yearning to do them again the next day?

I'm both looking forward to the upcoming lull in life as well as dreading it.

Positively anticipating because I will be relieved of all the details. I spend over an hour each day on the phone, answering emails...just getting back to people and making plans whether it's for church, friends, family, work, whatever! It's starting to overwhelm me because I NEED that hour for other things like sleep, so that's one thing I'll be glad to have a small break from. I'm really looking forward to our new house. It's an older home, tastefully renovated with plenty of charm and coziness. It will be so great to have space!

Dreading because Natalie and I will dip into serious despair once we fully realize no friends, no family, and no DAD. It will kill us both and time will only tell who first. I've been substituting nearly every day and she's become his shadow. Quite darling and I've very happy for them both. Jared's a trooper playing full time parent and getting a taste of life being home all day. He's fortunate it's only until mid-afternoon and I can' begrudge his need to decompress when I get home. He of course is stellar, but it's still "a lot of work" (his own words). It's kinda nice to switch roles for a while and come to appreciate how the other one feels and really does. I didn't fully appreciate what coming home to them was like or leaving in the morning.

Anyway. I'm also really looking forward to having some time to work on projects I've been putting off for the past few months and hopefully being new in an area will give me time to delve.

A quick quote of the day. I was subbing in a 5th grade class and a girl blurts out, "You're the best gangsta teacher we've ever had!" Not sure what that means but I think it's good. :) So the next time you are giving a compliment, add "gangsta" and it will really make their day.

Lastly, a photo for the day. This tree is really growing like this. Initially I thought it was fallen but after I checked it over, it is living and thriving just so smack dab in the middle of OSU campus. Isn't that just a stop and smell the flowers sight? Makes me want to sit and think.